The Myth of the Perfect Mom

You know those perfect moms . . . the ones with the figure of Barbie, the homemaking skills of Martha Stewart, the moral certainty of Dr. Laura, the poise of Laura Bush and the compassion of Mother Teresa.

I used to know some perfect moms, too. Then, I got to know them, and guess what. Every single one of them is really NOT perfect after all. Not even close. Some of the moms I thought were perfect have bulges and warts. Some feature macaroni and cheese as their gourmet meal, and others raise their voices when they know better.

Come to find out, the road of mothering is NOT like Dorothy’s yellow brick road that leads to the land of finished products. Moms don’t ever "arrive" because motherhood is more like this big map with endless possibilities than just a defined journey from one location to another.

In some ways, it’s kind of exciting to know there isn’t a stagnant set of directions for being a mom. It’s also comforting to know there’s no rush to the finish line. It’s a process, not a product.

Nonetheless, there are checkpoints along the way . . . labor and deliver, baby’s first tooth, putting a child on the bus for the first day of school, report cards, driver’s permits, vacations, graduations, weddings, your daughter’s labor and deliver, your grandchild’s first tooth . . . you get the picture. Each checkpoint introduces a new set of hurdles as well as rewards.

Improvements to the never-ending yellow brick road of motherhood are always possible and even necessary. Just as streets leading through bustling communities must be periodically torn up, rebuilt and repaved to aid the flow of traffic, mothers must plan for improvements, evaluate and evolve to best serve their own needs and those of their families.

As for me, I think I’ll start wearing a T-shirt with this logo: "Patience . . . mom under construction."