A Grandparent's Beattitudes

by Renee Hawkley

Blessed are those who smile, for their wrinkles turn up instead of down.

Blessed are those with gray hair, for they have built-in halos.

Blessed are those who wear glasses, for their eyes twinkle.

Blessed are those who are hard of hearing, for they listen with their hearts.

Blessed are those whose steps are measured, for they are not in a hurry.

Blessed are those whose breath is short, for their patience is long.

Blessed are those who are puzzled with today's music, for they sing the old songs.

Blessed are those with more than one chin, for their chins jiggle when they laugh.

Blessed are those with bent and clumsy fingers, for their touch is gentle.

Blessed are those who watch races rather than run them, for their applause is loudest.

Blessed are those whose brains are slow to remember, for they are fast to forgive.

Blessed are those who are going through their second childhood, for they understand those who are going through their first.

Blessed are the poor in worldly goods, for they have treasures of character to share.

Blessed are those who keep silent about their pain, for they shall not be one.

Blessed are those whose bodies are worn out, for their spirits are worn in.

Rejoice and be exceeding glad, for great is the reward of those who embrace a second chance to be . . . if not a perfect parent . . . at least a "grand" parent.

Grandparenting for Dummies

by Renee Hawkley

Parents can transition to being grandparents by making a few simple changes in their parenting manuals. Here are a few suggested updates;

• Cross out "Hurry up, we'll be late" and pencil in "Slow down, there's no hurry."



• Where it says, "Work before play," switch the words 'work' and 'play.'



• In the sentence, "Don't buy Lucky Charms," cross out the word 'don't.'



• In the naptime section, where you're supposed to say, "You're tired. It's time for you to lie down and take a nap," change the words to, "I'm tired. Let's lie down and take a nap."



• Skip the chapter on the birds and the bees. If the topic of sex comes up, just tell your grandchild to fill in the blank with 'M' for Male or 'F' for Female.



• In the cookie recipe that calls for 1 pkg. chocolate chips, make it 2.



• In the sentence, "If your child asks for a dollar, give him a quarter," switch the words 'dollar' and 'quarter.'



• On the nutrition pyramid, add candy as the fifth basic food group.



• In the bedtime chapter, change, "It's your bedtime," to "Let's watch a movie."



• In the paragraph about reading to your child at least 20 minutes per day, change 20 to 40.



• In the section on answering questions . . .

Ah, phooey! This is taking too long. Forget the darn manual and just remember the following one-rule-fits-all for being a grandparent:

You're only a child twice, so cut to the chase and go for the fun!

By the way, if the parents of your grandchildren challenge you on any of this, remember . . . they ARE the parents. If they told us once, they told us a thousand times—what they say is what we do because Mom and Dad really do know what's best!

Hey! Our Nest Is Not Empty

Our “baby” daughter, Janette, got married on August 14th. I sewed her dress, and she was beautiful . . . a princess . . . her prince . . . the wedding . . . the honeymoon . . . a new life for them . . . and for us.

On August 16th, my husband and I woke up and had the whole house to ourselves, including the refrigerator and all its contents. Well, then . . . I suppose we never paid attention to all that talk about the “empty nest” phase. Who has the energy to think about stuff like that while sorting socks, toys, toddlers, report cards, and teenagers?

Let’s see. It looks like nothing about this parenting deal is going to come easy around here. Maybe mother loosening her grip on it will be the hardest thing of all. I suppose it’s hard because I can’t think of anything as meaningful as raising children, and I like being involved in meaningful. Then again, I don’t want to rewind the tape for any repeats. Thank you very much, but “my cup runneth over” with memories of the tooth fairy, chicken pox and driver's ed.

But here’s the point. The phrase “empty nest” is not going to work for me. Not even close. Matter of fact, I consider it a personal insult. How can they say our nest is empty when we’re still in it? Nothing about spending the past thirty-seven years as a mother makes me feel empty. Quite the opposite. Anyway, I’m not exactly through being a mom because parents don’t retire. They just graduate to the next level.

Still, it is quiet in this house while we’re getting used to the idea that clocks, dryers and computers make sounds we never heard before. I can even hear myself think once in awhile, and these are a few of the comforting thoughts I hear:

My dad died in his sleep at age 93 in June. My mom, age 90, continues to love and nurture her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren with countless little thoughts, prayers, words and deeds from her three-room apartment in an assisted-living facility. Most of my parents’ belongings are in the house they shared for forty years, but their house with all its belongings isn’t their nest. My parents take their nest with them wherever they go. It’s where they do what they do best. Their nest will never be empty, and neither will mine.

Grandma Asks "Why Not?"

I thought I knew my sister, Karen. That was before she became the grandma of two little girls, Chase and Kambria.

My sister, Karen's favorite activity is shopping. Then why is she willing to give up an afternoon at the mall in favor of babysitting?

My sister, Karen's idea of clutter is a stray carrot peel in the sink. Then why are toys and stuffed animals scattered on the floor in her living room?

My sister, Karen always looks like she just stepped out of a fashion magazine. Then why are grass stains on her pants and bits of twigs sticking out of her hair from rolling down the hill at the park?

My sister, Karen takes pride in her nails, which are always manicured and polished. Then why is she in the backyard helping Chase knead the dough for mud pies?

My sister, Karen takes excellent care of her belongings and never takes risks that might damage property. Then why did she admit to a delightful session of jumping on the bed with Chase? After all, only a troll could turn Chase down when she appears with a mischievous sparkle in her eyes and says, "Gammy . . . let's go jump on your bed!"

My sister, Karen taught home economics for over thirty years and has organizational habits and skills to spare. Then why are snacking and playing with Chase and Kambria the only things she can get done in an afternoon?

I thought I knew my sister, Karen. Now, I'm kind of glad I didn't. I guess she's just like the rest of us who have spent years asking, "Why?" When grandchildren come into our lives, a flip-flop occurs, and it just seems like a lot more fun to ask, "Why not?"

About Rectangular Grandmas

It's amazing what parents learn when they listen and their kids talk. Several years ago, when our children were preschoolers, I took notes at a family meeting when the topic of discussion was grandmas. Here are a few observations our children made (with just a touch of editing) about their grandmothers, Verla Thomas and Ellen Hawkley:

"We have to drive way past a whole nap to get to Grandma's. We go in their houses without knocking. Grandmas like to kiss people and give long hugs. We're lucky because our grandmas live in the same town."

"Grandma Hawkley calls our Dad 'Dan.' She tells him to put a coat on to go outside. She plays 'olden-days' songs on the fiddle and puts on my shoes with a shoehorn."

"Grandmas like to make picnics. They put better stuff in Jell-O. They grow dill pickles in their gardens and make sour beets. They can make fruit leather out of anything. They make soup out of 'rolling pin noodles.' They can even make cake out of zucchini."

"Grandmas have good laps. They have time to read two stories in a row. When they take a nap with me, they don't get up in the middle."

"Grandmas have new sheets. They bring me more blankets so I won't get cold. In the morning, they make my bed and tell me not to wake my mom up."

"When you break Grandma's lamp, she just gets a new one and tells you to be more careful."

"Grandmas likes to play checkers even when I always win. They help me pick up the toys and gives me pennies to buy candy at the little store."

"When we go home, our grandmas get sad, but they send food so we won't get hungry."

"Grandmas have curly hair and sparkly eyes with glasses on them. Their faces are a little 'folded.' Some other grandmas have purple hair, but not ours. Grandmas look . . . something like a rectangle."

So if you see a rectangle with purple hair and glasses around town, don't be alarmed. It's just somebody's grandma.