Grandparenting for Dummies

by Renee Hawkley

Parents can transition to being grandparents by making a few simple changes in their parenting manuals. Here are a few suggested updates;

• Cross out "Hurry up, we'll be late" and pencil in "Slow down, there's no hurry."



• Where it says, "Work before play," switch the words 'work' and 'play.'



• In the sentence, "Don't buy Lucky Charms," cross out the word 'don't.'



• In the naptime section, where you're supposed to say, "You're tired. It's time for you to lie down and take a nap," change the words to, "I'm tired. Let's lie down and take a nap."



• Skip the chapter on the birds and the bees. If the topic of sex comes up, just tell your grandchild to fill in the blank with 'M' for Male or 'F' for Female.



• In the cookie recipe that calls for 1 pkg. chocolate chips, make it 2.



• In the sentence, "If your child asks for a dollar, give him a quarter," switch the words 'dollar' and 'quarter.'



• On the nutrition pyramid, add candy as the fifth basic food group.



• In the bedtime chapter, change, "It's your bedtime," to "Let's watch a movie."



• In the paragraph about reading to your child at least 20 minutes per day, change 20 to 40.



• In the section on answering questions . . .

Ah, phooey! This is taking too long. Forget the darn manual and just remember the following one-rule-fits-all for being a grandparent:

You're only a child twice, so cut to the chase and go for the fun!

By the way, if the parents of your grandchildren challenge you on any of this, remember . . . they ARE the parents. If they told us once, they told us a thousand times—what they say is what we do because Mom and Dad really do know what's best!