I Could Be a Better Mother If ...

After more than a quarter century of motherhood and years of research, I've discovered that the best mothers are male psychologists who devote their careers to writing parenting books. Honestly. I could be a better mother if I didn't have kids. Being a "real" mother has a way of bringing you down a notch or two . . . and that's before the alarm clock goes off each morning.

The best handle I had on being a great mom was when I was in my teens. At the time, I could tell that my mom was making some big mistakes. I could have offered her some great suggestions . . . perhaps even a list . . . but she never asked.

For one thing, she kept hollering down the stairs for me to get up for school every morning. Sometimes, she hollered as many as two or three times in one morning! Mothers aren't supposed to holler. I assured myself that when I became a mother, I would tiptoe quietly downstairs in the mornings and gently nudge my sleeping teens with an offer of cold cereal and orange juice on a tray.

I've learned a few things about being a mom since I was a teenager . . . the first of which is that my mom is a whole lot smarter than I gave her credit for. Right now, she has the perfect qualifications to be an excellent mom. Trouble is, she's at a stage in life where she needs her sleep.

Which brings me to this point . . . the whole mothering operation is all backwards. A mother needs qualifications early instead of late. To be a good mom, you need more than knowledge . . . more than natural talent . . . more than stamina. You need wisdom . . . and the character to use it every single moment of your life. It's an easy formula to write down, but trust me. There are complications. This coveted state of being takes the better part of a lifetime to acquire.

I'm just too young to be a good mom. Still . . . I seem to be making some progress as a mother, even though it's slow. At least, I don't holler downstairs two or three times every morning in an attempt to wake my teenagers up. That's because their bedrooms are upstairs.